Suffering Outside the Bubble

I am currently watching people I love dearly suffer. And it's not just one family. There is suffering all around me. But we, apparently are in some sort of protective bubble. Our lives are going along just fine. I'm thankful, but baffled. And often wondering when the bubble will burst. Not that the burst would cause some sort of faith crisis, or that I don't think we could handle some tough times. It's just weird watching suffering from the outside, specifically the kind of suffering that cannot be alleviated. (Not by me anyway). This is big time, life-changing, gut wrenching, ugly, nasty stuff. And apparently God allowed it. I don't know why I am more shocked by the big ugly stuff that God allows versus the usual toe stubbing or rain on my picnic kind of stuff. It is really all shy of perfection, so what does the degree matter? God allowed Sweat Pea to be injured. God allowed the Holocaust. God allowed Daniel to cut his knee at the pool. And God is perfect and good and in control. This is the truth. And the truth will set you free. So, in the midst of pain and suffering I can rest, or watch others rest, in the knowledge that God has allowed this for a season, for reasons we may never know, but He is still good and perfect and in control. He is still on His throne. There really is freedom in that. Freedom to relinquish control. Freedom to acknowledge that I am not God, I did not cause it and I cannot fix it. Freedom to just let my Saviour work out His plan.

And on a side note I want to say that one of my good friends who is suffering right now begged me to not take on her burden. She wanted me to know that she was being sustained by the Lord and did not want her suffering to affect my faith. How beautiful is that? I often think of those who would deny God because of a tragedy that did not ever touch them. I do understand that symapthy, and that anger, but I think those who are suffering and are being held up, literally, by the Lord in the midst of their trials would be very upset if someone used their hurting as a reason to deny the one thing that is sustaining them.

Can't Blog...Living.

Ok, so I had this funny picture in my head from a movie - I know, so out of character for me to relate my life to an on screen event - and the image is, 'can't talk...eating', but I can't remember the movie it is from. Anyway, all that to say that I have been so busy living that I couldn't blog. We are bUsy with a capital U, but things are good. we just got back from a week at the beach and are soon headed for a weekend in WI to celebrate Jason's Grandma's 100th birthday. When we get back from that, planning and preparing for VBS will be in full swing along with Sweet Pea's medical, early intervention, and social servives appointments. Sprinkle in several orthodontics appointments, the occassional IEP meeting and you have a recipe for "I May Never Blog Again Casserole". I may or may not be back...(:

Speaking Of Running

http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2009/05/marathoning-for-haiti.html

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO HERE AND HELP TARA MEET HER GOAL. SHE IS AWESOME. HER HEART IS AWESOME. HER LOVE FOR THE LORD AND HAITI AND HURTING KIDS IS AWESOME. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT HER AND HER FAMILY. JUST GO DO IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO......(:

My sweet Sydney joined a goup called Girls On The Run after school this spring. They teach about healthy body image, peer relations etc and simultaneously train for a 5k run. I decided I would run it with her. We had so much fun and met our goal of not walking at all(: Corey - if you are reading this stop laughing at me - it was a big deal! ;- Before...And after... We did it girly. I love you!

I got to attend a Mother's Tea with Daniel at his school last week. It was possibly the most precious thing ever. First of all, look how gorgeous he is! When I got to the school he came out and gave me his arm to escort me in, then he served me my treats. He stood at perfect attention beside my chair and said, "Mom, you wan sunsing on yo plate?" I almost lost it right then and there. What a treasure of a child he is!!

New Blog

OK, so a crazy lot has happened in the past few weeks. There has been so much on my mind and so little time to write. I do plan on sharing it with you as I can, but I am taking my thoughts on our foster parenting adventures over to word press. That way I can share things that are best kept private with a password protected setting. Of course, still all names and intimate details will not be shared, but what I can share are my thoughts, fears, hopes etc. I invite you along for the ride. The address is www.lovehopes.wordpress.com and if you want access to password protected posts send me an email at sixprices at verizon dot net requesting the password and I will send it to you(: I will share regular old family life here as usual and no password is needed!

Promise to catch up soon...

Go Vote

Check out Carloyn's "Stitch That Makes The Sweater Perfect" blog for details and go here to vote.
http://www.uncrunch.org/uncrunchAmerica/uncrunchArticleDetail.action?guid=10502

Recap in Pictures

Samuel is seriously precious! He is such a sweet and easy going baby. Easter...

Was...

So...

Busy...

We did two services at church, then off to friends for a cookout and egg hunt, then over to my Mom's for dinner and another birthday party for Madeline.

How adorable and goofy is my crew(:

Daniel's impersonation of Santa.

Madeline's party Friday night with friends.

My baby girl is 12. I have one more year to be officially teenager free. She is such a sweet, loving, and mature kid. I am so blessed by her - she loves her family, she loves the Lord. Thank you Lord for letting me be Mom to this treasuer of a girl!

Daniel lost another tooth - his third. He is FOUR! The photo above is of him holding the tooth fairy money AND the tooth. Apparently he went and found the tooth on my dresser the next morning, and then said, "Mom is you is the tooth fairy?"

Little stinker.

Sam Is Here(:

We get to snuggle, love, and in general spoil him for the next two weeks while his host mom is away. I changed his diaper, I fed him, I got him to go down for a nap. So far so good. Will post pictures soon.

This Just In

From Samuel's Host Mom:

We are going home today!! Yippeee!!!!


Sammy is doing very well. The incision on his back has closed up and is healing nicely. There is one spot that the surgeon is concerned about, but all we can do at this point is watch it carefully. The stitches in his head and belly will dissolve and those two areas are looking good. The shunt is working; his head was another half centimeter smaller this morning and I can feel the plates are closer together like they should be. She was also very pleased with the leg movement he's showing. He will still need extensive PT and his feet are still fairly clubbed, so we're still working on them.

Right now, we are awaiting our final discharge papers and waiting for a travel bed since he still can't sit in a car seat. We have follow up appointments scheduled with the surgeon, his PT, and his PCP in the upcoming weeks. But we are looking forward to relaxing at home for a couple of days.

Sammy and I would like to give a big thank you with a hug to all of our prayer warriors who have been praying for us. Your prayers have definitely been felt and heard. Please continue to pray for Sammy's recovery including complete use of his legs and control of his bladder and bowels (two areas of dificulty for spina bifida kids). I will keep you posted of his progress. Feel free to pass this email on to other prayer warriors.

I Love Boys

The weekend was cold and rainy so we stayed in and made our own fun.

Also wanted to let you know that Samuel's shunt surgery went well today. Hopefully he will be able to leave the hopsital by the weekend(:

Samuel Update

Little Sammy was not able to handle the hydrocephalus. The doctors debated over whether to try an experimental surgery that would allow him to go back to Haiti shunt free, but apparently have decided against it. His shunt surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. Although they have drawn off some of the fluid it is building again so he is fairly lethargic, but is still eating well. Please keep praying for him. Hope to have pictures from his host mom to share soon.

My Sister-Friend Corey Thinks It Rocks Too, But She Is DOING Something About It!

Love you Corey! Everybody who is not Corey should check her out here:
http://watchingthewaters.wordpress.com/2009/03/11/brother-can-you-spare-a-dollar-or-two/

THIS ROCKS!

This is a matching grant opportunity for one of the best ministries in Haiti. Please please go help if you can!
http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2009/02/grantgrowth-opportunity.html

Sam Update

From his host mom on Friday:

"Sammy is doing well. He's been in some pain since the surgery, but for the most part it's controlled by regular use of Tylenol and only occassionally, morphine. The fluid and pressure on his head is increasing, and each day his head circumference is a little bigger. The nuerosurgeon said that she either needs to tap it again to relieve the pressure or put the shunt in, and if she has to do one, she'd rather put the shunt in, which is how we feel as well. He had the ultrasound today and she's checking her schedule, but probably won't be able to perform the procedure until next week. He's sleeping a little more and eating a little less, but all in all, doing well."

From his host mom today:

"Sammy is doing pretty good, all things considered. He's resting well and doesn't seem to be in any pain. He had some diarrhea and formulat spitting, but we changed his formula to soy. His BM's are firming up and the spitting has stopped. He is however, losing weight. Today is the second day of weight loss. The pediatric doctors here are on top of it, so hopefully we'll know something soon."

Please pray they can do his shunt soon. I believe he is not eating because he is probably getting very uncomfortable. Poor little man needs our prayers right now.

Also, here is a link to his story for a local paper:

http://www.roanoke.com/community/virginia/religion/wb/196950

Healing!

L to R: Leo, Daniel, Sydney, Madeline, Mom, Gabe, Dad, Chance

Last week Gabe brought this picture to me. I cried. It is the first one he has ever drawn of our family with him in it and we are all happy. He is turning eight this week. He draws alot of dragons, battle scenes, and faceless people. If you have a perfectly attached child you would not have been as shocked as I was to receive this picture. Notice the smiling faces and how he has positioned himself right between me and Jason and we are ALL holding hands. It is really beautiful. And the best part is - I can see it in his life, on his face, and I can feel it in his interactions. He is healing. Praise God!

Day One Post Op

This is the update we got from Sam's host mom yesterday afternoon.

"Sammy went into the OR at 7:30 am and didn't come back to the room until 3:30 pm. There is damage to the spinal nerves. And while right now Sammy is not showing signs of paralysis, we are seeing restrictive range of motion in his legs. We have already started doing some simple PT with him, but he also may need surgery on one, if not both, feet. When his back has healed, the surgeon will probably put the shunt in his head to reduce the pressure of the fluid even more. Right now, he is in a good bit of pain and discomfort."

Please keep him in your prayers for continued healing and less pain!